Happy Birthday America!

That's what I spent some of my time doing on the holiday yesterday....trying to get Burim to say that. It finally happened after about 4 unsuccessful tries of him holding his arms up and yelling proudly "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BECCA!" LOL

My husband decided on our way down to Canton yesterday (for those who don't know, Canton is a small town out towards East Texas and the weekend before the "First Monday" in every month, they have a huge, I mean HUGE, trade show where you can buy just about anything your heart desires) we needed to introduce our 3 year old nephew to the spectacle and mystery that is fireworks. I informed him we should likely call Burim's mommy, my sister, and get permission before making such an investment, and to my wonderment, she thought it was a good idea too and told us to proceed. Yeah! Exciting times!

After spending 4 hours shopping in the 104 degree Texas sun, we were dripping wet, red faced, and exhausted, but got re-energized all over again when we pulled off onto the gravel shoulder to what claimed to be the "Largest fireworks stand in Texas! NO WAIT! 15 windows!" and began our inspection of their bounty.

Now, I know nothing about fireworks. We weren't allowed to have them as a kid and my mom put the fear of God into us with her wretched story about her friend, the boy who "blew his hand off", and forbade us from touching them. Troy, on the other hand, grew up with fireworks and goes into some sort of frenzy around them. Some of my greatest memories from early on in our marriage is going out to his sister's home in the country, which sat on acres of land, and watching the boys all shoot off hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks. We would BBQ, have watermelon, and home made vanilla ice cream with fresh sweet strawberries and sit outside drinking beer and wine coolers and having a great time. Her kids were young and still at home back then and they loved their aunt and uncle and we loved them and it was good, great, and awesome times. I get so nostalgic just thinking about it! His mother, Sherle, would send people back up the fireworks stand over and over and over again to get "just 20 more dollars" (really $100 more) because she loved it so much and Troy definitely takes after her in this way. She would slip money into different people's pockets and think she was being sneaky even though everyone knew what she was doing. Someone need to run to the store for milk? $20 in their pocket to stop by the fireworks stand on the way. 4th of July was one of our greatest family holidays back then and fireworks were a BIG deal. I can't believe those kids are now either in college, married for 5 years, or already finished a 4 year stint in the Marines. Goodness how time passes us by.

Troy starts conversing with the woman at the fireworks stand about what is appropriate for a 3 year old (really I think this is a ludicrous question- fireworks that are appropriate for a 3 year old? Let's get serious people!) and the pile in front of us starts growing and growing. He buys an entire SLEEVE of sparklers instead of just one box- why, I have no idea, but that's what he does. Then these little chickens who lay eggs ("shoot sparks out of their butt" is how she explained it) get added to the pile. He decided he wants a sparkler fountain too and she grabs one off the shelf. He double checks to make sure it is just a fountain that sprays color and she assures us it is. Good thing he has a witness to this conversation. That's all I'm saying. Otherwise, my sister really might have killed him last night.

Troy advises Ms. Fireworks Seller we will be IN the city limits and that we need things that are quiet and can be done in the backyard with no one getting arrested. He just wants a little bit of color and light to get Burim exposed to fireworks. Oh yes, she assures us, this one will be fine. "It's just a sparkler fountain that sprays pretty colors," and she makes a waving motion around the top of the cone to demonstrate how the pretty, pretty colors will come out. He points to one that is twice the size of the one we just added to the stack and she says that one will be fine too. He adds it the pile, I am shaking my head, and remind him we are NOT going to his sister's and I start laughing telling him he is definitely his mother's son. Now I am full-fledged tugging on Troy's sleeve and reminding him that Burim is only 3 when I notice that his eyes have glazed over and he appears to be in some sort of fireworks trance. ENOUGH! Time to go. We hide our illegal loot in the trunk under all of my Canton goodies and head back to civilization.

We go watch fireworks in the parking lot of the Grapevine Mills mall and Burim could care less about them. He ends up running around the parking lot and playing with his ball instead of looking at them. I think we have possibly burned him out on fireworks since we have been taking him up to the Ballpark after the Rangers' games to watch them in the parking lot. He doesn't appreciate them the way Shannon and I do since we only got to see them once a year in the parking lot of my step-dad's job at Fort Hood and those were nothing to get too excited about but we loved them. Troy announces he thinks it will be more fun to go back and do our sparklers instead.

When we get in the backyard, I am a little concerned with the crunching sound under my flip flops and I ask Shannon when is the last time she watered her grass?! She said she is just letting it die so I am a little concerned since it is STILL 96 degrees at 10:30 PM. Troy and Artan (my brother-in-law) appear to care not one bit and off they go, setting stuff on fire. I see embers glowing in the grass and my nervous memories of my mother's stern warnings are creeping up and making my tummy start to hurt. Of course, my mother (our adult supervision) is nowhere to be found, she crashed before the sun went down and was snoozing 1.5 miles a way. She probably woke up about 5 minutes later though...

Burim LOVED the sparklers and was running all around with them and was enjoying throwing his poppers on the ground and getting all excited when one actually popped and he made a sound like a wild animal and did his arms in little muscle man poses, showing us his brute strength (LOL) every time one made the loud noise.

Troy pulls out the sparkler fountain and Shannon glares at him (we were both worried the grass was going to catch on fire and burn the house down) and wants to know what it is. "Oh, it is just a sparkler fountain," I advise her knowingly, since I am now the fireworks expert in our family. "You put it on the ground and color comes out of it, just like a sparkler but it's a fountain." She still doesn't look convinced. Troy is trying to put it in the grass and I am yelling at him that isn't a good idea and he better put it on the concrete and she is yelling at him that he better keep it away from her pool. He is ignoring both of us and thinks we are idiots and hysterical females and Artan is still throwing poppers all over the place and holding three and four sparklers at a time to make a bigger fire. Troy puts the sparkler fountain on the grass and goes to light it. Shannon is glaring at him and goes to grab the garden hose and I bust out laughing.

What happened next, I only wish we had on video or at least had a couple of pictures. Now, keep in mind, we are in Shannon's backyard- of her DUPLEX, and we are well within the city limits and less than a mile from the big sign on the side of the road that says "Fireworks are strictly prohibited in the city limits". Just keep that in mind while you read on....

5 seconds after Troy lights the pretty sparkler fountain, it goes from a nice little light show on the ground to sparks start shooting up and FIREWORKS (actual fireworks) start shooting up in the air and over the house. Whistling and then exploding it goes off over and over and over and over again. My face is horrified and I am running towards the gate. I don't know where exactly I was headed but I was booking it out of there. I am too spoiled to be in jail. I would never survive.

Burim is standing transfixed staring at this explosion of light in his very own backyard with his eyes wide in amazement. Shannon is in shock and is looking like she honestly might kill Troy with her bare hands- or strangle him with the garden hose she is clutching for dear life. I am now laughing so hard I can't stop and am yelling at Troy, "MAKE IT STOP!!!!! We are going to get arrested!" He is looking a little panicked and just keeps saying, "It wasn't supposed to do that! She SAID!" He told me later that all he kept thinking is, "Oh my GOD, how long is it going to do that and can I make it stop?!" When I say it was LOUD, I am not kidding. We were full blown shooting off a fireworks display right in the middle of town. Kaboom, kaboom, kaboom, whistle, kaboom, over and over and over again. I am positive it was fine my mother didn't come over because she could surely see it from her apartment down the road, and I am thinking Troy's mom might have been able to see it in Mesquite 30 miles down the road too. Just when I think Shannon is about to douse the fountain AND my crazy husband with the garden hose, the screeching finally comes to an end and we are all just standing there in shock staring at each other.

It was a little thrilling to be completely honest (mostly AFTER it was over and no siren came roaring down the street) and I have never broken the law so blatantly (okay aside from speeding like a demon) so there was a little rush of adrenaline. But mostly, it was scary and hilarious all at the same time. Definitely a holiday memory for all time.

For future reference, the salesgirl at window 3 of the largest fireworks stand in Texas is a big fat liar and should NOT be trusted! That girl will tell you anything to sell you anything! LOL! Needless to say, we wrapped up our festivities and Troy quietly tucked the sparkler fountain that was three times the size of the one we had just set off back into our "top-secret big brown paper bag" and went and hid it back in the car. We were living on the edge last night but we aren't TOTALLY insane. :-)

Hope everyone had a happy and safe 4th- we definitely had a happy one and the safe part, while debatable, ended up alright in the end. Happy Birthday America and God Bless the USA!

Love,

Becca