Thursday, April 30, 2009

Rain, Rain, Go Away!

It is soooo much easier for me to walk outside for some reason than it is on the treadmill. The treadmill is a whipping! Walking outside in the fresh air, looking at the beautiful outdoors, and feeling the wind....that doesn't even feel like work most days. It feels like a blessing. So go away rain!

I had planned to meet my mom at 7:30 this morning to romp through the park but was awakened to two big dogs sitting on my head, trembling like leaves, at about 6:10 this morning. It was POURING outside. Sheets and sheets of rain were hitting my window and then before I knew it, here came the hail too. I called my mom and said, "Um, I guess we are NOT walking today?" and she informed me that she already knew this last night due to the weather report. Umph! I advised that would have been more helpful information LAST night when I was setting my alarm! :-)

Mom then proceeded to tell me about the latest on the swine flu and how concerned she is for me and all of the people at my job. Now, go back and note the time. 6 AM? I can't deal with the swine flu at 6 AM. I promised her we would be careful, wash our hands, and steer clear of coughing people. Then I reminded her that the state does NOT care about us (for the billionth time) and so NO they will not be providing us with hazard pay or masks, gloves, and HAZ-MAT suits that she thinks should be issued during this crisis, and that I was now re-setting my alarm and going back to bed. I am going to need my rest if I am going to hold off the swine flu without the state-issued haz-mat suit. Oh, and I better be sure to take my Flintstone vitamin this morning.

I should have just gotten up and gotten on the treadmill...but something about curling back up, crawling back into bed, and listening to the thunder and rain was screaming my name. I will get on the treadmill tonight....I promise. Now, I am going to catch 10 more minutes of sleep. :-)


P.S. Those of you who know me well enough in my adult life are aware of my propensity for catching random illnesses, bizarre medical issues, and, well, just about anything that is catching actually. I have asked Troy to PLEASE ensure if I should die of swine flu to make certain that information is NOT included in my obituary, my eulogy, or on my tombstone. Can y'all please hold him to that? No mention of pigs at my funeral please.

P.P.S. I have also requested liposuction post-mortem should I die before I get to my goal weight. Please donate to that collection if asked. It would be my final wish! And who can deny someone their final wish? :-) Mucho thanks!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Welcome Back

I woke up at 2 AM this morning and was not able to get back to sleep. So where do I head? Facebook, of course. (Isn't that only rational??) I was finding cute flair and sending silly Twilight things to my friends when I came across a flair that said it all for me this week and that I should remember every week of my life:

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

I didn't expect to find scripture on flair...but there it was and it spoke the truth. I have been feeling so weak and almost broken...but the last few weeks have helped me find peace and with that, find strength.

Today, I returned to work after a THREE WEEK absence. *sigh*

I was starting to feel like a retired person who was still getting my full paycheck. Now that was an awesome feeling. :-) I have been dreading going back to work since about....hmmmm....well, just about the day I left....but when I walked in today, I remembered why I do what I do. I actually do love it. And I love my peeps. One of my favorite "peeps", my secretary, full-on attacked me when I walked in the door and stole not one, not two, but three big hugs from me and had me laughing out loud within 60 seconds. I didn't even realize how much I had missed her until I saw her. One of my workers nearly knocked me over trying to get in the door and wouldn't let me out of her sight for an hour. She was so excited, I had to keep chuckling to myself, and her exuberance was contagious.

That was how my morning started....and then the afternoon rolled around and I took my best friend out to lunch for her birthday (it was yesterday). We got to spend a complete hour together, uninterrupted (those of you who know where I work or who WORK where I work can appreciate the significance of an hour of uninterrupted time- it is almost unheard of!), just the two of us. We were just catching up and chit-chatting like we hadn't missed a beat. This is what being best friends is all about. It was fabulous and even though I actually did know how much I missed her, it was only intensified when we got to spend that time together today. We haven't gone that long without seeing each other or talking to each other in FOREVER!

Long and short of it...I am back to the place that makes me crazy but with a new and improved attitude, a rested body, and a fresh spirit. Funny how your perspective on everything changes based on how you are feeling at the time. Even though the circumstances are the same!

I consider my welcome back today a huge compliment- people usually are hoping their boss stays GONE not running to greet them when they walk in the door. Whether or not I am worthy of this adoration is another post altogether; but for today, I soaked it up and took it in and felt truly and absolutely blessed to be back, blessed to have the amazing staff who work for me, and blessed to have the absolute greatest friendships in the world.

Now that I am back, I know the madness will soon begin again....but I am steadfast in my other knowledge...."I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."


P.S. My friend chose MEXICAN of all places to eat today and I stayed TOTALLY on program and didn't eat a single chip! Yeah me! :-))))))))

P.P.S. Tomorrow, I will blog about the lobster grilling experiment...stay tuned for some funny stuff. In my own humble opinion of course.

Saturday, April 25, 2009


Totally just realized it is ninety-SEVEN not ninety-EIGHT. Even better. :-) Sometimes it is AWESOME to stink at simple math.


Exhibit A

Exhibit B


Why is it so danged easy for men to lose weight?! It is so frustrating! Perhaps I should see below post on "patience" and realize that my current situation is going to require a lot of maybe I need to go find that store I mentioned and charge some. :-)

Troy and I have headed back to our old sacred place- the lovely land of Weight Watchers. WW is my tried and true method of losing weight after I have packed on the pounds and I am never sure when I go back why I stopped going in the first place. I know it works- it has never failed me. There has never been one time that I have actually WORKED the program and haven't lost weight. In 2003, I lost 60 pounds and I kept it off for 3 years (see exhibit A picture). Fast forward to November 20th, 2006- the day that changed my life forever- my car accident....and then fast forward to 2009 (see exhibit B picture- BOO!) and here I am with all my weight back- plus some (why does that ALWAYS work that way?! Just once I would like to start back with LESS weight to lose and say- UMPH- so there!....maybe I could just try not LEAVING and then it would make it to where I never needed to go crawling back to my tried and true friends...something to consider).

We re-joined WW on April 11th- the day after my sister's 30th birthday party which consisted of ice cream, cake, and great Mexican food. I tried to maintain my composure as I handed her my old weigh in book and mumbled, "Yes, I am a lifetime member. I am going to try not to cry while we weigh me back in. And yes, I will have to pay. Obviously." (Sarcasm is another tried and true friend- of fat people. It is a defensive measure no doubt.) Thank GOD for that kind woman behind the counter. She patted me on the hand and said, "The important thing is you are back now, you are doing the right thing, and you aren't anywhere that we haven't been. We have ALL been there and we are glad to have you back." She was so kind to me, as my eyes were brimming with tears, I couldn't even bring myself to zing back another sarcastic retort. I just smiled weakly, trying to hold my breath on the scale after I blew all the air out of my lungs...praying for a miracle.

When I got my book back, I tried to not look at the number because I just knew I was going to bawl like a baby and the tears that were brimming were going to GUSH. Instead- I tried something different, I looked at the number, took a deep breath, and said, "Wow. I AM glad we are back!" It just felt great knowing that we were doing the right thing and moving in the right direction. (Then I double checked to make sure Troy still weighed more than me, LOL.)

So, the hard truth is- I have a LOT of weight to lose. Troy doesn't have quite as much but then he can button his pants BELOW his stomach...something I think women should catch on to. Okay, just kidding, that is not a pleasant mental picture. But it does appear to be convenient. To go back to my opening- yes, he has lost twice as much weight as me in the first two weeks. I want to bop him on the head. But I won't because the truth is- his health has suffered and his health is more important to me than me worrying about who lost what faster. I say that today. Next week it might start to get really annoying and I will start feeding him chocolate while he sleeps. On the other hand, I know how fortunate I am to have a husband who is so awesome as to go to WW meetings every Saturday with me. Of course, he is the star of the show up there (those ladies LOVE him) I don't feel like he is suffering all THAT much.

The horrifying number that I faced on my first day back- was a total of 107 pounds that have to be lost. By ME. My sister tells me she doesn't believe it is that much. As a dear friend and I discussed last week- I cannot prove it any more than I already have without sharing numbers- and I ain't willing to do that. :-)

I never thought I would be here...but here I am. I couldn't even think about it at first- it numbed my brain...broke my heart. I couldn't imagine what in the world I had been thinking the last 2 1/2 years- or what the heck I have been eating?! Thank GOD for my husband and my dearest friend, SR, who told me to ease up on myself and told me plainly to remember what I have been through...what I have suffered and to remember that I have done this before...and can do it again.

But it has gotten a little easier each and every day and here I am- two weeks later- dipping below that three digit number to 98 pounds left to lose. Why does that sound so much more manageable? It is still a lot! Not sure why- but it does and I am going with that flow. Today is the first day that I thought I could stomach writing about it. I decided that taking to my blog and putting it in black and white for the world (Okay, not that the world is reading my blog...but you never know! Maybe someday!) to see and hold me accountable to the numbers on this page instead of just the numbers in my head and my private little weight log book.

I have also decided that I will place the contract with myself here...feel free to challenge me on it anytime.

I will not eat any fast food (except Chick-fil-A, which I don’t think counts :-)). I will not drink soda. I will drink at least 4 bottles of water per day. I will work out (walking at a minimum) at least 3 times per week. This is my contract with MYSELF and myself only and I do not want to let me down!

Things I will commit to for my health:
1) Drinking water
2) Journaling every day
3) Measure my food
4) Eat at least 3 meals each day
5) No eating after 10 PM

I won't bore my friends with my weight loss saga every week...but I will post at least every month or two to keep myself honest, motivated, and accountable. Several of you have been so supportive and interested, I feel like you are on this journey with me and for that, I am truly grateful, and truly blessed.

Wish me luck! I can surely use it!


Sunday, April 19, 2009


The journey of a thousand miles begins with....blah, blah, blah! I am lacking in one MAJOR area of my life...and this is PATIENCE. I have none. Zippo. Nada. It is horrible. I have come a long way in the last few years....but I still have unrealistic standards not only for myself, but for those around me as well. This causes me TONS of problems. I wish there was a class I could go to...or a store I could visit where it is being sold. My husband would likely be glad to "charge it" if need be. :-)

The subject of patience came up today on our outing to the park. It was myself, Troy Boy, my mama, my sister, and the baby. We were trying out a new trail and no one knew exactly where we were going or what we were doing. This led to a lot of stops and starts...obviously, for someone with NO patience, this would be a little frustrating. So, I started plowing, full steam ahead. I would jog back to where they were and then follow as they again tried to figure out where they wanted to go.

My mom (bless her heart, she is disabled and her activity and exercise is severely limited- I was SUPER DUPER QUADRUPLE proud of her for coming out with us today!!!!) had to call it quits after about 40 minutes. Troy went ahead and followed her over to the parking lot so that he could make sure she got into her car safely (I LOVE that man!) and sis and I went ahead over to another part of the trails. At this point, the baby was getting tired, although his answer to that question is 100% of the time "NO, I am NOT tired" when asked. My patience again got the best of me....and off I go making loops around the trail and seeing how far I can push myself to run at a time.

Troy comes back and joins us. He reaches over for my arm and says, "Babe- patience is going to get the best of you...." and I reply, "What are you talking about?!" (although it went more like this at this point...." huff puff....TALKING...about?!"). He stopped me from running off again and said...."Baby steps, baby steps. You are just starting out again!" I tried not to be offended by this statement and of course, jogged on up ahead and when they joined us announced that we would be walking my sister and nephew back to their car and then proceed to walk back to our own car in another parking lot. My sister and my husband just looked at each other, shaking their heads.

We said our goodbyes at the car...tried to kiss my nephew who adamantly announced (for the first time EVER)- "I do not WANT you to kiss me Becca!" before we shut the door. I wanted to cry. But I didn't. Shocker! I know!

Then the hubby and I started our way across the big field to get back to our car. I was still a little winded but took a few moments to catch my breath before saying, "You know. It is not just exercise that I am like this with." Troy started smiling and says, "I know. It's EVERYTHING!" I was laughing at this point too and said, "Well THEN?!" Goodness!

More on the reason for all of this physical activity and the full steam ahead walking excursions, I am going to try and be patient while I wait to fall asleep for a lovely afternoon nap.


Friday, April 17, 2009

Rainy Day

So, I am going to give this blogging thing a whirl....what else is there to do when it is pouring down rain outside??? I suppose I could be reorganizing the out kitchen cabinets even? But...nah! What fun is that? It has been storming outside since about 8:30 this morning. The thunder and rain should be calming and soothing, right? Well, not when you have two big fraidy cat dogs (how does that happen anyway?! DOGS who are fraidy CATS??? Hmmm.) who jump on top of you every single time the thunder claps....I feel like such a meanie but after the fifth time I am like "KNOCK IT OFF AND GO LAY DOWN!" Sheesh. I have limited patience available on my best day...and today isn't my best.

I am trying really, really, really HARD not to let something get to me...something I shouldn't have even seen today- but I am so stubborn and hard headed, I couldn't resist. I am under "strict orders" (or "strick orders" if you are Ms. Florey) not to work while I am on vacation. For anyone who has known me for any length of time in my adult will know that this is next to impossible for me...I am just not wired that way. I didn't realize until about 2 years ago that I wasn't just simply a workaholic, obsessive, freak (ahem to those who might think otherwise)...but rather this is an INHERITED condition and I got it from my dad. He is as compulsive with his email and text messages as I am. My sister isn't far there you have it, it is in the blood so to speak.

Being the workaholic, obsessive, freak that I am....I checked my email. And what I read didn't only shock me. It hurt me. Hurt my feelings! I am trying to rationalize what I read...trying to make sure I am not being overly sensitive...and trying to remember, I shouldn't have seen what I saw for another 10 days...perhaps this was my punishment for violating those "strick orders"? Or perhaps it is just the tough love I have been promised to help me take care of me...My brain is whirling, trying to make sense of it....trying to process it...trying not to let work interfere in what I believe are honest and true friendships.

So, anyway, I suppose I will go back to enjoying my lazy day of rain, tv, and napping...and try to put the unpleasantness I came across on the back burner for now.

Hopefully, my next blog will be slightly more entertaining. But- WHEW- the first one is behind me! Yipee! :-)))))