Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Next time....Read the label.

Oh my. How many times am I going to come sulking back to this place I call my blog and mumble below my breath...whoopsie, it's been another 60 days since my last post...I'm going to do better...really, I am.....Sigh. Probably no one believes me any more. Probably no one will see this apology and my promise to do better because all five of my faithful followers have probably given up on me. I love writing this blog...why do I spend so much time away? I actually do have an answer to explain my absence of recent and I had lots of things I wanted to blog about...but I was scared that instead of the process being cathartic...it would be painful and I am being honest when I say...I just didn't think I could handle it at the time. I will write more about that in another post...and I think I am to the point where it WILL be cathartic so that is a GREAT thing!

Since I have been here last...here is the run-down on our life:
1) I went on bed rest 1/25
2) Still on bed rest 3/23.

Exciting huh?! Yeah. Not so much. I had Troy check me for bed sores yesterday. Well. I asked him to. He said no. I don't think I have any. But I could be wrong! I guess we'll never know...

But for real now...since I was here last, Mr. Blake finally went over 5 lbs (yahoooo!), little Maddox turned 6 months old yesterday and is still trying to find his way past 3 1/2 lbs, and Bailee continues to just stare at the wild animals who have infiltrated her peaceful (read: LAZY) existence. It is quite the sight to see our 80+ lb lab mix sitting in one spot, holding court, looking bored, while the 3 and 5 lb puppies sit on top of her or chase her tail and give her kisses and jump on top of her and chase her tail and well, you get the picture. It has definitely brought some excitement into our lives.

I also invested (and I do mean INVESTED) in a new camera since I've been gone...a Nikon DSLR D90 and it is one of the greatest purchases I have ever made. I am chomping at the bit waiting for the bluebonnets to arrive so I can drag my puppies and my husband out for what I hope are going to be a-maz-ing photographs. If I ever leave the house again...but that's a different story.

Well, I just wanted to stop by and say hello to my fans (hahahaha) and start wiping the dust off of my typing skills and my blog...I have had a few ideas about blog entries...but mainly while I was sleeping (But I remember they were GREAT IDEAS!) and now I can't remember them. But...my dear husband (God bless him for his care of me and this house over the last 2 months) suggested a topic near and dear to his heart...."Next time...read the label"....so, in his honor...I will oblige.

I will preface this story by reminding you that I have been on bedrest now for 7 weeks. Maybe longer. I got tired of counting. But this means that Troy has had to do EVERYTHING for our house since that time. Grocery shopping,cooking, if we cook, laundry, etc., etc., etc., which are not things that he does as a matter of regular practice. Yes, he helps me with ALL of those things...but having them be solely his responsibility has been a challenge to say the least. Our dishwasher (one year old mind you) also broke about 6 weeks ago...and that didn't help matters much. I will also remind you that I have been on bed rest for SEVEN weeks. I have not been working. I have not been playing. I have been going....out of my mind insane. I am NOT a person who can stand to be bored by nature and I have not done a good job of keeping my crabbiness at my current isolation and "grounding" to myself. Yes, I am admitting. I have been a little testy. I can be a little testy on my best day...so that isn't really saying that much...but my sweet husband Troy is rarely testy. Ever. He is rarely in a bad mood. Ever. He is happy-go-lucky. He is a nice guy. He is calm, cool, collected. We are a good balance for each other that way...if you get my drift. :-)

Over the last few weeks....Troy has been slightly....ummmm. Shall we say stressed? He actually admitted to me that he is more stressed out now than he has ever been in his life. For the most part, he has been able to shoulder that well and just keep on trucking. He has been a little shorter than usual...and his patience with others has not been as good as usual (I am sure this is because he is using every ounce available on ME), and I've been known to describe him as "grouchy" over the last several weeks. Hey. I just call it like I see it.

I don't know if some of you from other areas are familiar with "Chicken Express"...I sure wasn't until a couple years ago. You would think a place called that would be famous for, well, really fast chicken I guess? But no. What they are famous for is their tea. They have the BEST ice (yes, better than Sonic, we buy it by the bag and fill our ice maker with it) and they sell their tea in big huge Styrofoam glasses for like a dollar or you can buy it by the gallon. We do both. Now. If you can drink their SWEET tea straight up...I promise you are a better woman than me. We get it unsweet and add either Splenda or Sweet and Lo depending on whether your name is Troy or Rebecca. We go there at least once a week, sometimes twice. We *always* get the following: 2 large unsweet teas and one gallon of unsweet. It is the highlight of my day when I get that big beautiful cup of iced tea with the best ice in the world especially when my current daily excitement consists of someone winning it big on the Price is Right.

Last Tuesday, I went into the kitchen (breaking the rules, yes, I know but I was thirsty doggone it) and poured myself a lovely glass of Chicken Express tea from our brand new gallon, added my one and a half packets of sweet and lo and went to imbibe in the awesomeness. BLECH! I obtained two cavities immediately (I don't have PROOF of this...but that's what I think happened). I looked at the gallon and saw it very clearly said "Sweet Tea". I sent Troy a text message. "Babe...did you know this tea is sweet?" The response comes back, "Um no, ordered un, why would I buy 2 large un and 1 gallon sweet. that's stupid." Um. Okay. Well, I'm going to need him to go get another gallon of the appropriate un-sugared tea STAT. I am going to into caffeine withdrawal already and it's only been 30 seconds. My point is...this is an emergency.

Troy calls me later that evening from the Chicken Express where we visit at least 6 times a month. There is something a little frightening about his voice. "I'm going to punch this guy in the nose", he tells me. "What?! We don't have bail money Troy! I have to pay $1000 for surgery!" He tells me the following recollection of events that went down at the local Chicken Express. I am really hopeful this isn't just the Reader's Digest version and there aren't "Wanted" posters of my husband all over the Mid-Cities area. Remember I told you he is a tad grouchy? :-)

Troy: Hey man, I was here yesterday and I got two large teas and a gallon. Y'all gave me sweet instead of unsweet for the gallon. I need a gallon of UN-sweet tea please.
Chicken Express Ding Dong: So you just want to buy a gallon of unsweet tea then? Or you want the two large teas too?
Troy: Naw man, I already BOUGHT the gallon of unsweet. Y'all gave me the wrong one. I'm going to buy 2 large teas again but I need the right gallon of tea please.
Chicken Express Idiot: I don't understand.
Troy: What do you mean?
Chicken Express kid: So you just want to buy two teas and a gallon of tea?
Troy: No. I want to buy two large teas. I want the CORRECT gallon of tea from what I bought here yesterday. Do I need to go home and get it and bring it back up here?
Chicken Express doofus: So....ummmmm....You want it for free or something?
Troy: No. If I wanted it for free, I would ask you for a REFUND. I already PAID FOR IT. You gave me the wrong one.
Chicken Express jackass: Well, I don't know who did that. Or if that was our fault.
Troy: I don't know who did it either. I'm sure it's nobodies fault. It was an accident. I just need another gallon of tea man.
Chicken Express kid not realizing he is getting closer and closer to imminent bodily harm: I need to talk to the manager if you want it for free man.
Troy: Stop saying I want it for free. That is really starting to tick me off.
Chicken Express soon-to-be-punched-in-the-nose-ding-dong: Oh. So you just want to buy one then? I don't need the manager for that.
Troy (turning into the Incredible Hulk I am sure): Can I speak to the manager please?
Chicken Express Very Annoying Child: Oh sure. (Goes to get the manager who is about 6 ft away. Tells the manager...this guy wants a gallon of tea for free. This is when Troy calls me)
Manager: What's the problem sir?
Troy: I was here yesterday. Like I am every Monday. You gave me the wrong gallon of tea. I just need the right one. I will be glad to bring the wrong gallon back if needed.
Manager: Oh. Okay. You want sweet or unsweet?
Troy. I. Want. Unsweet. Please.
Manager leaves. Foolish boy returns with the tea and tells Troy: Next time sir...you should really read the label.

Well. He did say sir.

Toodles for now...I'll be back...what! I promise!


  1. that is HYSTERICAL! poor troy lee! he is such a good hubby...you better keep him around! ;-) love you much and i hope you are feeling a lil better. muah!!!

  2. LMAO! Love it, read the lable... ha ha ha! You kill me :) Thanks for blogging again.

  3. Cause it's Troy's job to read the label....hilarious!

  4. Oh we can SO laugh about it now...but OMG that night it was SO not funny. :-) Ceci- I MISSSSSSS YOU and LOVE YOU! And if you don't come to the hospital this week I will know you ALWAYS loved Troy Lee best! ;-) Lorren- well, these days EVERYTHING is his job so I guess the Chicken Express boy wonder just decided to give it a whirl. *chuckling so hard I can't stop*

  5. Oh my goodness...I laughed so hard that I'm crying! What a great story!!
    PS. So happy that no one got hurt ;)