WW

Why is it so danged easy for men to lose weight?! It is so frustrating! Perhaps I should see below post on "patience" and realize that my current situation is going to require a lot of this...so maybe I need to go find that store I mentioned and charge some. :-)

Troy and I have headed back to our old sacred place- the lovely land of Weight Watchers. WW is my tried and true method of losing weight after I have packed on the pounds and I am never sure when I go back why I stopped going in the first place. I know it works- it has never failed me. There has never been one time that I have actually WORKED the program and haven't lost weight. In 2003, I lost 60 pounds and I kept it off for 3 years (see exhibit A picture). Fast forward to November 20th, 2006- the day that changed my life forever- my car accident....and then fast forward to 2009 (see exhibit B picture- BOO!) and here I am with all my weight back- plus some (why does that ALWAYS work that way?! Just once I would like to start back with LESS weight to lose and say- UMPH- so there!....maybe I could just try not LEAVING and then it would make it to where I never needed to go crawling back to my tried and true friends...something to consider).

We re-joined WW on April 11th- the day after my sister's 30th birthday party which consisted of ice cream, cake, and great Mexican food. I tried to maintain my composure as I handed her my old weigh in book and mumbled, "Yes, I am a lifetime member. I am going to try not to cry while we weigh me back in. And yes, I will have to pay. Obviously." (Sarcasm is another tried and true friend- of fat people. It is a defensive measure no doubt.) Thank GOD for that kind woman behind the counter. She patted me on the hand and said, "The important thing is you are back now, you are doing the right thing, and you aren't anywhere that we haven't been. We have ALL been there and we are glad to have you back." She was so kind to me, as my eyes were brimming with tears, I couldn't even bring myself to zing back another sarcastic retort. I just smiled weakly, trying to hold my breath on the scale after I blew all the air out of my lungs...praying for a miracle.

When I got my book back, I tried to not look at the number because I just knew I was going to bawl like a baby and the tears that were brimming were going to GUSH. Instead- I tried something different, I looked at the number, took a deep breath, and said, "Wow. I AM glad we are back!" It just felt great knowing that we were doing the right thing and moving in the right direction. (Then I double checked to make sure Troy still weighed more than me, LOL.)

So, the hard truth is- I have a LOT of weight to lose. Troy doesn't have quite as much but then he can button his pants BELOW his stomach...something I think women should catch on to. Okay, just kidding, that is not a pleasant mental picture. But it does appear to be convenient. To go back to my opening- yes, he has lost twice as much weight as me in the first two weeks. I want to bop him on the head. But I won't because the truth is- his health has suffered and his health is more important to me than me worrying about who lost what faster. I say that today. Next week it might start to get really annoying and I will start feeding him chocolate while he sleeps. On the other hand, I know how fortunate I am to have a husband who is so awesome as to go to WW meetings every Saturday with me. Of course, he is the star of the show up there (those ladies LOVE him)...so I don't feel like he is suffering all THAT much.

The horrifying number that I faced on my first day back- was a total of 107 pounds that have to be lost. By ME. My sister tells me she doesn't believe it is that much. As a dear friend and I discussed last week- I cannot prove it any more than I already have without sharing numbers- and I ain't willing to do that. :-)

I never thought I would be here...but here I am. I couldn't even think about it at first- it numbed my brain...broke my heart. I couldn't imagine what in the world I had been thinking the last 2 1/2 years- or what the heck I have been eating?! Thank GOD for my husband and my dearest friend, SR, who told me to ease up on myself and told me plainly to remember what I have been through...what I have suffered and to remember that I have done this before...and can do it again.

But it has gotten a little easier each and every day and here I am- two weeks later- dipping below that three digit number to 98 pounds left to lose. Why does that sound so much more manageable? It is still a lot! Not sure why- but it does and I am going with that flow. Today is the first day that I thought I could stomach writing about it. I decided that taking to my blog and putting it in black and white for the world (Okay, not that the world is reading my blog...but you never know! Maybe someday!) to see and hold me accountable to the numbers on this page instead of just the numbers in my head and my private little weight log book.

I have also decided that I will place the contract with myself here...feel free to challenge me on it anytime.

I will not eat any fast food (except Chick-fil-A, which I don’t think counts :-)). I will not drink soda. I will drink at least 4 bottles of water per day. I will work out (walking at a minimum) at least 3 times per week. This is my contract with MYSELF and myself only and I do not want to let me down!

Things I will commit to for my health:
1) Drinking water
2) Journaling every day
3) Measure my food
4) Eat at least 3 meals each day
5) No eating after 10 PM

I won't bore my friends with my weight loss saga every week...but I will post at least every month or two to keep myself honest, motivated, and accountable. Several of you have been so supportive and interested, I feel like you are on this journey with me and for that, I am truly grateful, and truly blessed.

Wish me luck! I can surely use it!

Becca