Good thing I don't live alone....

Well, I guess it is a good thing. The bad part is there is a witness. The good part is that if I ever get too wild and crazy- there is someone there to protect me. To slap me awake if needed. Mr. Dix decided to spend the better part of the morning today filling me in on this month's antics to date. And when I say antics- I mean my bizarre activities after I have allegedly gone to sleep for the night. When I was a kid, I used to sleep walk all of the time...so much so that my step-dad had to install a special lock on the top of the front door after I went out in the middle of the night in my PJ's trying to get into his big orange truck. I still remember that night and I was on a MISSION! I have also gotten into the laundry detergent, started the washing machine while it was empty, left the freezer and refrigerator doors wide open, and started running water in the bathroom. I did many other entertaining things as a child in my sleep, including impersonating an alien with my index fingers flicking up and down on each side of my head while turning from left to right....and people (and by people I mean my MOM) love to bring them up at inopportune times in my adult life.

Fast-forward to 2009 and for some reason...the antics have begun again. Not sure if they ever stopped completely, but for whatever reason, I have kicked it into high gear in the last 6 months. Two weeks ago, I allegedly was asleep on my stomach and all of a sudden pushed myself up with my arms, craned my neck around the room, grinning like a fool, started stroking Troy's arm and then reached over and licked his arm. LICKED HIM. This is his story. Sad part is, I kind of semi-remember it. But the way I was living it, we were having a nice romantic conversation and I reached over to give him a sweet, soft kiss. Apparently, that ain't how it actually went down.

Earlier this month, I again sat up straight in bed and began demanding to know where Josh Hamilton was and what had Troy done with him. (Josh Hamilton plays for the Texas Rangers for those who may not know. Never met him. Not my favorite player. The only thing I do know is that he is on a TV commercial right now and perhaps I saw it before going to sleep.) Whenever Troy refused to disclose his location, I proceeded to start throwing the pillows off the bed and pulling our two mattresses apart to look in between them and under the bed. Troy was laughing so hard telling me this part he nearly had tears in his eyes. He had to physically restrain me to keep me from tearing the house apart to find the elusive Mr. Hamilton.

Troy says whenever these episodes happen, I sit straight up in bed like I am possessed. Then I get this super goofy look on my face and start grinning from ear to ear. Of course, there is no photographic evidence of this (YET) so I only have his word to take for it. He is so amused when reliving the details that I find it hard to believe it isn't accurate. And his impersonation has me rolling too and it is pretty much the same goofy look every time.

So, apparently, last night, I again woke up with the goofy look. Grinning like a fool again, I demanded to know, "Where did that guy go?" Troy tried to ignore me but I was insistent. "He was right here," I demanded. "Standing right over there," pointing next to the bed. Troy is laughing so hard at this point in his re-telling, he has ME crying. Troy informed me there was nobody there, and if he was there, he didn't see him, and he isn't here now. He said after he finally convinced me he had gone, I got a smug look of satisfaction on my face and drifted back off to dream. Lord knows about what. I have no recollection of this event AT ALL- a little scary if you ask me.

So far, my antics at night have not gotten me into any trouble or led to me or anyone else being injured...but I just pray that the day doesn't come where I start calling other people, dialing 911 about the crazy man standing next to our bed, escaping from my house and looking for my dad's old orange truck, or start talking about crazy stuff that I would be better off NOT bringing up to my husband (like my candle addiction). Troy pointed out today that this is yet another reason we do NOT need a gun in the house. He doesn't want me waking up shooting at imaginary people who have crawled underneath our bed to find out where Josh Hamilton ran off to.

I think I could use a nice, long, Saturday nap. While Troy is gone....so I can sleep in peace.

:-)

Becca